We share personal things on this blog like photos of our home, what we've been up to, but never how we're feeling. Today though is different.
Since 2:50 pm on Monday I've been glued to the media - reading other blogs has honestly annoyed me. I'm craving more information about the Boston Marathon tragedy. I want to know if they've found anyone. I want to know which victims went home from the hospital. And I want to know how the others are doing. That's all I want to read about this week - and I've been addicted to checking the news more than I ever have been to Facebook or Pinterest. I just want to know that this is over and that everyone is going to be ok.
On Monday and Tuesday I hadn't felt any emotion yet about the events on Boylston Street. A street I've run on during a 5K and 10K. It was because the real stories hadn't come out yet. We didn't know who that man was in the wheelchair, or that two of the spectators were from my town, or that a newly married husband and wife each lost their left leg. How do you care for each other in a new marriage when you're both missing a leg?
The first story that really got to me was the one about the runner looking for man who comforted her when she wasn't allowed to finish the race. She was stopped, like all the others who hadn't finished before 3 o'clock when the raced was officially canceled. And she couldn't get a hold of her parents who were supposed to be at the finish line to greet her. Running a marathon seems lonely enough to me - but I can't imagine how alone she felt without her friends or family or anywhere else to run. Eventually she finds out they are fine and then she loose it - I would have too. That feeling when you are so worried you want to scream and then all of a sudden the relief that it's ok. Then a finisher comes up to her to make sure she's alright and gives her his medal to comfort her.
It was a short little news story, and nobody in this one was hurt. For me it was both the first one I read about real people and so far the only one I've read with a happy ending. It was the first sign of hope.
Obama spoke at the church across the street from my office today. We watched his motorcade pull into the parking lot. I've read some of what he had to say and it was beautiful. I pray it brought some comfort to the victims, volunteers and men and women in uniform who have been directly effected. For me though I'm still a mess. And I'm still checking the news constantly. We have pictures now but still no arrest. I'm scared it will happen again, not in this form, but just people hating others this much. I'm not sure how to clear my head of the worry. Maybe this weekend.... I need to go for a run.